View Screen-Reader Accessible Site


 

Parenting Tip
October 17, 2014
Suggestions for Influencing Teens

Even the best of parents must make some changes in the way they parent as their children grow up. The old methods of relating don't work the same way anymore. In fact, they seem to cause problems instead.

Of all the changes teens make, the most important one is probably the adjustment in their relationship with their parents. They're moving from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship. Unfortunately, some parents never make the shift. They continue to treat their teens as if they're still eight or nine years old. Honor helps parents recognize the changes and make the necessary adjustments.

Although you may be able to "control" young children, the key word for teenagers is "influence." Here are five words that describe different ways you can influence teens.

1.    Teach - provide them with new information or help them understand another facet of life.

2.    Encourage - remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction.

3.    Entreat - earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible, and wise way.

4.    Admonish - warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences.

5.    Persuade - use relationship, incentives, and natural consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

Remember that you don't have to accomplish everything in one interaction. Change takes time and your influence over time will produce the greatest results.


This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Chapter 8 is entitled Helping Teens Through the "Tunnel Years."

More Helpful Tips:
A Lesson in Honor
A Practical Way to Teach Responsibility
A Practical Way to Teach Values
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher

An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Anger is Good
Bad Attitudes Are Automatic Responses
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms

Inspecting Children's Work
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
Kids Love Heroes
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Not Just Behavior Change
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
One Way to Teach Kids Honor
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Stop Anger When it Starts
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Suggestions for Influencing Teens
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”

The Benefit of Reporting Back
The Conscience Needs Training
The Good Side of Anger
The Gratefulness Principle
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
The Truth about Lying
The Value of Correction
The Value of Training
The Way You Give Instructions
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight

Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Your Child has a Conscience


 

Parenting Tip
October 17, 2014
Suggestions for Influencing Teens

Even the best of parents must make some changes in the way they parent as their children grow up. The old methods of relating don't work the same way anymore. In fact, they seem to cause problems instead.

Of all the changes teens make, the most important one is probably the adjustment in their relationship with their parents. They're moving from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship. Unfortunately, some parents never make the shift. They continue to treat their teens as if they're still eight or nine years old. Honor helps parents recognize the changes and make the necessary adjustments.

Although you may be able to "control" young children, the key word for teenagers is "influence." Here are five words that describe different ways you can influence teens.

1.    Teach - provide them with new information or help them understand another facet of life.

2.    Encourage - remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction.

3.    Entreat - earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible, and wise way.

4.    Admonish - warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences.

5.    Persuade - use relationship, incentives, and natural consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

Remember that you don't have to accomplish everything in one interaction. Change takes time and your influence over time will produce the greatest results.


This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Chapter 8 is entitled Helping Teens Through the "Tunnel Years."

More Helpful Tips:
A Lesson in Honor
A Practical Way to Teach Responsibility
A Practical Way to Teach Values
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher

An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Anger is Good
Bad Attitudes Are Automatic Responses
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms

Inspecting Children's Work
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
Kids Love Heroes
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Not Just Behavior Change
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
One Way to Teach Kids Honor
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Stop Anger When it Starts
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Suggestions for Influencing Teens
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”

The Benefit of Reporting Back
The Conscience Needs Training
The Good Side of Anger
The Gratefulness Principle
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
The Truth about Lying
The Value of Correction
The Value of Training
The Way You Give Instructions
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight

Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Your Child has a Conscience