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Parenting Tip
July 23, 2014
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Some children have the ability to suck the energy right out of family life. These children are demanding of your time, need a lot of correction, and seem to be magnets for conflict. They are often emotionally explosive but almost always drain the energy out of parents and other family members. Unfortunately then, these children develop a negative view of themselves based on the high amount of negative feedback they receive.

One solution is to teach them to add energy back into family life. We use the term "honor" to describe the process of thinking of others above yourself. If Jack seems to get people riled up each afternoon before dinner, set an appointment with him at 4:00 pm for several days in a row and ask him to look for three things he can do to add to family life. He may decorate the dinner table, encourage his brother, or prepare something nice for Dad's arrival home.

If Jack continually antagonizes his sister, tell him that he needs to think of three nice things to do for her before he can go on with family life. Don’t tell him exactly what he needs to do. If you decide what Jack needs to do and tell him to do it, that's obedience. When Jack chooses, that's honor. Honor treats people as special and does more than what's expected. Jack needs to learn how to add energy to family life instead of taking it away. Challenging children in this way helps them to think differently.
 
Teens need to learn honor because it will make them more effective in life. Hidden within honor are the secret ingredients that make people more successful in relationships. Teaching honor is worth the work, because honor changes people.

This idea comes from the 13-week children's program called, The Kids Honor Club, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. It contains Bible stories, activities, crafts, and games to raise the awareness level of honor in your family. Just watch what happens to your kids as they learn to develop honor in their lives in fun ways. This material is great for a church children's program or even for an individual family.

The concept of Honor is taught in the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. We call it The Honor Book.

More Helpful Tips:
Stop Anger When it Starts
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher
Anger is Good
Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
The Benefit of Reporting Back
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
The Conscience Needs Training
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
The Gratefulness Principle
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Kids Love Heroes
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms
A Lesson in Honor
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life
An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”
The Truth about Lying
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight
Your Child has a Conscience


 

Parenting Tip
July 23, 2014
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Some children have the ability to suck the energy right out of family life. These children are demanding of your time, need a lot of correction, and seem to be magnets for conflict. They are often emotionally explosive but almost always drain the energy out of parents and other family members. Unfortunately then, these children develop a negative view of themselves based on the high amount of negative feedback they receive.

One solution is to teach them to add energy back into family life. We use the term "honor" to describe the process of thinking of others above yourself. If Jack seems to get people riled up each afternoon before dinner, set an appointment with him at 4:00 pm for several days in a row and ask him to look for three things he can do to add to family life. He may decorate the dinner table, encourage his brother, or prepare something nice for Dad's arrival home.

If Jack continually antagonizes his sister, tell him that he needs to think of three nice things to do for her before he can go on with family life. Don’t tell him exactly what he needs to do. If you decide what Jack needs to do and tell him to do it, that's obedience. When Jack chooses, that's honor. Honor treats people as special and does more than what's expected. Jack needs to learn how to add energy to family life instead of taking it away. Challenging children in this way helps them to think differently.
 
Teens need to learn honor because it will make them more effective in life. Hidden within honor are the secret ingredients that make people more successful in relationships. Teaching honor is worth the work, because honor changes people.

This idea comes from the 13-week children's program called, The Kids Honor Club, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. It contains Bible stories, activities, crafts, and games to raise the awareness level of honor in your family. Just watch what happens to your kids as they learn to develop honor in their lives in fun ways. This material is great for a church children's program or even for an individual family.

The concept of Honor is taught in the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. We call it The Honor Book.

More Helpful Tips:
Stop Anger When it Starts
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher
Anger is Good
Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
The Benefit of Reporting Back
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
The Conscience Needs Training
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
The Gratefulness Principle
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Kids Love Heroes
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms
A Lesson in Honor
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life
An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”
The Truth about Lying
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight
Your Child has a Conscience