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Parenting Tip
November 21, 2014
Get a Response

Parents give instructions many times a day. The difference between a drill sergeant and a parent has to do with relationship. The way you give an instruction helps a lot. In fact, a little forethought can head off resistance before it starts.

In addition, we encourage parents to teach children to respond back with some kind of response such as, "Okay Mom," or "Okay Dad." This answer reveals three things. First, it shows that the child has heard what you said. How many times have you gone back to check up on an assignment only to hear the child say, "But I didn't hear you"? Some parents even teach their children to repeat the instruction back by saying, "I will…" and then fill in the blank. This helps clarify the instruction for both parent and child.

The second benefit of an answer is that it teaches the child to communicate the intent to follow through. One dad said, "I like it when my son says, 'Okay Dad,' because it shows me that he's going to do what I asked."

The third benefit of a response is that you can hear what kind of attitude your child has. If it's one of those, "Okaaay Mommm!" responses then you know that your child has an attitude problem. The response reveals some important things about a child's heart.

Silence can mean too many things. A child may comply, while harboring anger, rebellion, resentment, or defiance. Teaching children to answer after an instruction gives you a window into their hearts to see if they're responding well to the instruction. If not, a parent has the opportunity to help make some adjustments.

For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, read the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

More Helpful Tips:
A Lesson in Honor
A Practical Way to Teach Responsibility
A Practical Way to Teach Values
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher

An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Anger is Good
Bad Attitudes Are Automatic Responses
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Get a Response
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms

Inspecting Children's Work
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
Kids Love Heroes
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Not Just Behavior Change
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
One Way to Teach Kids Honor
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Raising Emotional Awareness
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Stop Anger When it Starts
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Suggestions for Influencing Teens
Talk to Teens about Character
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”

The Benefit of Reporting Back
The Conscience Needs Training
The Good Side of Anger
The Gratefulness Principle
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
The Truth about Lying
The Value of Correction
The Value of Listening
The Value of Training
The Way You Give Instructions
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight

Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Your Child has a Conscience


 

Parenting Tip
November 21, 2014
Get a Response

Parents give instructions many times a day. The difference between a drill sergeant and a parent has to do with relationship. The way you give an instruction helps a lot. In fact, a little forethought can head off resistance before it starts.

In addition, we encourage parents to teach children to respond back with some kind of response such as, "Okay Mom," or "Okay Dad." This answer reveals three things. First, it shows that the child has heard what you said. How many times have you gone back to check up on an assignment only to hear the child say, "But I didn't hear you"? Some parents even teach their children to repeat the instruction back by saying, "I will…" and then fill in the blank. This helps clarify the instruction for both parent and child.

The second benefit of an answer is that it teaches the child to communicate the intent to follow through. One dad said, "I like it when my son says, 'Okay Dad,' because it shows me that he's going to do what I asked."

The third benefit of a response is that you can hear what kind of attitude your child has. If it's one of those, "Okaaay Mommm!" responses then you know that your child has an attitude problem. The response reveals some important things about a child's heart.

Silence can mean too many things. A child may comply, while harboring anger, rebellion, resentment, or defiance. Teaching children to answer after an instruction gives you a window into their hearts to see if they're responding well to the instruction. If not, a parent has the opportunity to help make some adjustments.

For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, read the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

More Helpful Tips:
A Lesson in Honor
A Practical Way to Teach Responsibility
A Practical Way to Teach Values
A Time to Practice Saying Thank You
A Work in Progress
Addressing Sibling Conflict
Allow Life to Be the Teacher

An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict
Anger is Good
Bad Attitudes Are Automatic Responses
Be Firm Without Being Harsh
Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
Caring for Others
Christmas: A Time to Teach Generosity
Communication is Key
Dealing with Morning Dawdling
Desire and Temptation
Don't be Deterred by Resistance
Don't Take the Bait
Emotional Cues
Ending Every Discipline Time Positively
Ending the Discipline Time Positively
Explain New Rules Before You Start
Get a Response
Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling
Giving Instructions
Helping Kids Deal with Emotions
Helping Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 1
Honesty Requires Character
Honor Defined in Practical Terms

Inspecting Children's Work
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
Kids Love Heroes
Keep Connections Open
Look Out For Boasting
Missed Opportunities
Monitor Frustration Levels
Not Just Behavior Change
Obey First and Then We'll Talk About It
One Way to Teach Kids Honor
Parenting Babies
Patterns in Family Life
Practical Ways to Connect with Your Child’s Heart
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Raising Emotional Awareness
Retraining the Heart
Sad Instead of Mad
Should I Change My Mind?
Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Stop Anger When it Starts
Strong-Willed Children are a Blessing
Suggestions for Influencing Teens
Talk to Teens about Character
Tasks, Problems, Conflict

Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Teaching Children About Anger
Teaching Children to Look for Ways to Help
Teaching Children to Wait
Teaching Through Decision Making
Teaching "Why" Helps Children For the Future
Teens Need Relationship
“That’s Not Fair!”

The Benefit of Reporting Back
The Conscience Needs Training
The Good Side of Anger
The Gratefulness Principle
The Key to Making Devotions Fun
The Truth about Lying
The Value of Correction
The Value of Listening
The Value of Training
The Way You Give Instructions
Use Generosity to Teach Honor
When Children Resist Instructions
When Giving Instructions, Consider the Timing
When Kids Want to Fight

Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Your Child has a Conscience